I created the Sound of Madness, wrote the book on pain, somehow I'm still here to explain...

Most people will think this is a joke. It’s not. The second caption is literally me the last 12 months.

Let’s rewind –12 months ago my life began to change and it’s an understatement to say I didn’t find it easy! I spent from then til now being dragged, from and through what felt like hell, dragged by God, dragged by my friends, dragged by my family, dragged by the Christian community I live and work in. I didn’t see it at the time, I didn’t see anything other than a constant battle to survive, but I was a nightmare and a disaster. I honestly don’t know how I can be standing here now so well, healthy and happy, considering where I was several months back.

 

How did I do it? I didn’t. God did.

It really is a miracle that I’m here in this position now. God really has dragged me along, whether I wanted to be or not, and placed me down, after walking full circle, back to near where I began. And when I say placed me down, I mean to walk along side me again, until the time I need carrying, or even dragging, again.

God also did it by sending me angels in the form of my friends to drag me through it all.

I don’t really know how or why they did it, but I’ve been simply amazed and I appreciate it more than words can say, that they stuck along all that time continuing to drag me through life, to get me to the point I am today.
There’s only so long your friends can drag a dead weight though and so you’ve got to help yourself too somewhere along the line. I would say, to help get yourself back to where you were, but there’s no way I can honestly say that. I can’t deny that the last 12 months hasn’t affected me personally or changed me in any way. I would be a fool and a liar to say it hasn’t. In some ways I am back where I was, I’m re-committed to being the best person I can be in all aspects of my life. I’m reaffirmed stronger than ever in the beliefs and values I hold and will strive to uphold them in every walk of my life. I’m stronger than I was. I’m more myself than I was. I am, quite frankly, amazing!!–joke!!!

Question: Will I always be the best person I can be and the person I should be? If I’m honest, sadly not. I’ve a whole lifetime left in front of me (scary thought!) and I know I’ll make more mistakes yet, as much as I hope and pray that I don’t.

So what really am I blabbing on about? It’s time to stop looking back. It’s time to look around where I am now and to see that the people who are with me now are the real people that matter. And it’s time to start walking for myself, and with the friends I've got, I'll not only be walking, but running, dancing and laughing alongside them all quicker than you can say 'life's for living', and, as we say in Church, ‘with the help of God, I will’...